Wednesday, May 28, 2014

The Bunny Speaks

Dear Mommy,
I was shocked to see your previous post about my personal business! I never realized it would be you airing my dirty laundry and selling insider stories to tabloids. I guess some people just can't handle their jealousy!
As you mentioned, things are changing now that I am a star. Unfortunately, you left out several key changes that need to happen.
 First of all, breakfast needs to be served before noon. Quit calling it brunch and acting like it is a real thing. It's you being lazy! Breakfast should be served in the morning hours regardless of your schedule.
Second, getting distracted is not an acceptable reason to forget to feed me dinner! In fact, there are no acceptable reasons to forget to feed me dinner. And no, it doesn't count when you come in later apologizing and babbling about work. I like my dinner at 6; not at 10! 
Third, "Pants Free" is not the way to be! Your personal philosophy regarding clothing seems to be "Pants Free is The Way to Be" at least around the house. I must strenuously object to this policy! Not only is it unsightly but you leave yourself vulnerable to accidental injury. Like that time you sat on my pine cone?! Cover your hairless self for everyone's sake!
Finally, quit posting about MY private life on the internet! I know it must be hard being an anonymous hoomin. Especially given my meteoric rise to fame but please try to manage your petty jealousies. No more inappropriate posts about my litter box habits!
I hope you will take this message to heart. I don't like having to publicly call you out but I will do it again if necessary! 
XOXO Scarlett O'Hare

P.S. See you in a few hours for BREAKFAST!


  1. Those are some strong words coming from someone with no opposable thumbs! Maybe you should rethink your demands the next time you want your Craisin bag opened...
    Your Lazy, Distracted, Jealous, Half- Naked Mommy
    P.S. How did you get the computer out at 5 am?! You know you aren't allowed to use it without supervision.

  2. Hehehe you to just crack me up!just to funny,xx Speedy

  3. Yow Scarlett ya shure told yer Mum!!! Me hopez ya haz sumbunny dere to open dat Craisin bag fer ya if yer Mum goez on strike ;)
    Me iz alot like ya 'cause me will wake Mum up at 5;30 A.M. which she callz 'dark o'clock' fer me ferst haz seckond brekkie at 10 A.M. Den lunch iz at NOON Snack at 3 P.M. n ferst suppa at 6 P.M. n seckond suppa at 11 P.M.
    Den Mum haz da rest of da nite off, MOL!!!!! Iz all in da trainin Scarlett trust me!
    Yer furend Nylablue =^,,^=